falling action

Divorced is like my favorite fourth grade word:denouement--the final resolution that comes after the falling action in a book or play.  The difference is denouement is a lovely word that makes you want to say it five times fast.  As one sound melts into the next, you become a Frenchmen, philosopher, and poet in just three syllables.

Divorced is a word that everyone would rather you not say, unless you have something delicious and salacious to report. No one appreciates the dull depressing-ness of day-to-day-divorced, and so it is said quietly, and only when unavoidable like the another unpleasantly existential word: diarrhea.

Denouement can be a welcomed thing when you have been sitting too long and are eager to send the actors on their way and go home, or when it marks a finished reading assignment.  But divorced is a resolution that comes with too many pages remaining. And so day-to-day you plan meals, and birthdays, and holidays, but they seem to be after the fact, like you are trying to create business for characters who should have already left the stage.

If divorced were a short story then it would be a tragedy.  But actually it is just an event in a saga--despite its apparent willingness to be an epitaph.

 And sometimes--even on the most beautiful October days-- its characters just need a reminder that life is as colorful as it has ever been, and that there will be rising action, and new chapters again. And so this is my message to that Author of the Universe: Any day now.

But in the meantime, here is October in medias res.

 There was bread.  Every now and then I make Sandra Lane of Litchfield Maine's Honey Whole Wheat recipe, as an offering and smoke signal that I am in need of angelic intervention. Sandra was as crusty as crusty Mainers get but she was also an angel on Earth--that's how Maine angels tend to be-- before she died too young from heart disease. Every now and then I feel her presence, and still feel grateful for her example and friendship.

 There were piles of leaves and fun with the leaf blower.

I took Grant, William, and the school girls to the carnival at the elementary school.

The kids always look forward to the Scales and Tales exhibit. The boa constrictor was the favorite thing of the night.

Another day of leaves.

More falling action.

finals, snakes, snow

Nine days into October. This month has already been rich in interesting, blessed days.  We celebrated Grant's birthday over General Conference weekend. Then I moved on to finals week at school.  So this is just a bit out of order for the sake of writing while my thoughts are fresh. As fresh as possible.

Monday October 3, I finished Pathology. It was a blessing to have an amazing woman, a professor from BYU teach our class.  She teaches at the U of U med school, huge lecture classes at BYU, and at our little college in Lindon. We were so lucky to learn from her, and get to know her in a way that the students at the other schools can't.  She made Pathlogy fascinating and inspiring. I have a passion for terminology.

Tuesday felt like a day that I would never see the other side of.  We finished Anatomy, one hundred and fifty questions from the entire seven months.  I didn't have as much time to study for the test as I would have liked because I was so sick over the weekend. I had used what energy I could to celebrate Grant's birthday and study for Pathology.

 Monday night I had been deperately trying to piece together the mystery of Movement and Structural Bodywork...not my favorite modality.  Tuesday morning I felt embarrassed that I had forgotten so much of my Anatomy II, the insertions and functions, so I was sitting in my desk during the test flexing and extending and feeling for insertions.  I love that you aways have a cheat sheet in an Anatomy exam.  It wasn't a triumphant finish, but I got enough points on the final to get an A in the class. I would have been heart broken if I hadn't, since Anatomy was my favorite subject. Sonya said my Anatomy textbook looked like her Grandma's Bible.  I felt pleased to hear that.  Structural went well, though it was still a mystery, and cost me some good sleep and Anatomy study time.

Wednesday morning, Trigger Point therapy.  I felt better going in since I had had a chance to practice the protocol on my neighbor.  Tuesday night I stayed up late studying for the written portion. I felt blessed that the tests went well.

 It felt unreal as we put away the tables for the last time. Seven intense months.  So much opportunity for self-examination, challenge, growth, change.  At lunch we had a potluck. In the afternoon we had our last session of Professional Development.  No final since we took it several weeks ago.  We took turns sharing thoughts about how we've changed, where we've come from, where we are going.  I think we all realized how much we've grown as individuals and how we've grown together, like family.  Driving home I felt so grateful that God had allowed me those associations and that seven months of accomplishment.

Thursday evening, another rich experience.  Rachel, our Pathology teacher,  took us on a tour of the BYU cadaver lab.  It was a blessing to be able to have our first look inside the human body, and our first association with cadavers be with Rachel. She has a tremendous respect for the donors and her love for them made the experience uniquely spiritual.  The hour went by too quickly. None of us wanted to leave.  It was fascinating to be inside the new universe of muscles and organs we had spent so many hours discussing and were finally seeing in three dimensions.

Friday was my last day of clinic. I felt like I had a new perspective, having been to the lab the day before.  I thought about how familiar everything is at that little college. The smells, the steps from the classroom to the drinking fountain, the clinic music, and all the opportunities it gave me for introspection, of course the faces, my favorite lunch place, the Juice Press, the mountains behind the school.  And oddly for the first time in a really long time I realized that life had never come to a sad end, that progress was still very much on its way, that growth and change and interesting fascinating experiences were happening all around me and would continue to happen indefinitely,  and I had the most incredible sense of wholeness, something I have not felt for some time now.

By the way, Thursday evening we saw the first snow in the mountains.  This was Friday morning.

After clinic I picked up the kids from daycare for the last time until I find a job or go back to school. I'll figure that out in the next few weeks, after I've caught up on some kid business, housekeeping, and sleep.  The teachers were sad to see the kids go. Sophie's teacher almost refused to let me take her.  We drove over to the elementary school to meet the older kids who already walked up to the school carnival.

Grant was excited to see the snakes, lizards, and turtles.

Olivia always loves the face painting and hair styling.

paper rockets

Saturday August 27 in the evening, the kids and I went to the big stake summer activity.  It was an outdoor carnival kind of night with several bouncy houses, free hot dogs, cotton candy,  and snow cones--my kids' dream come true.  I think they loved the little petting zoo the most.

My neighbor Melanie, William, and pony.

Bunnies.

The car Sam wants for Christmas.

Olivia and good friend Tracy.

Sam helped William and Caitlin build paper rockets.

Our friend Brother Teng shot them off into the sky.