falling action

Divorced is like my favorite fourth grade word:denouement--the final resolution that comes after the falling action in a book or play.  The difference is denouement is a lovely word that makes you want to say it five times fast.  As one sound melts into the next, you become a Frenchmen, philosopher, and poet in just three syllables.

Divorced is a word that everyone would rather you not say, unless you have something delicious and salacious to report. No one appreciates the dull depressing-ness of day-to-day-divorced, and so it is said quietly, and only when unavoidable like the another unpleasantly existential word: diarrhea.

Denouement can be a welcomed thing when you have been sitting too long and are eager to send the actors on their way and go home, or when it marks a finished reading assignment.  But divorced is a resolution that comes with too many pages remaining. And so day-to-day you plan meals, and birthdays, and holidays, but they seem to be after the fact, like you are trying to create business for characters who should have already left the stage.

If divorced were a short story then it would be a tragedy.  But actually it is just an event in a saga--despite its apparent willingness to be an epitaph.

 And sometimes--even on the most beautiful October days-- its characters just need a reminder that life is as colorful as it has ever been, and that there will be rising action, and new chapters again. And so this is my message to that Author of the Universe: Any day now.

But in the meantime, here is October in medias res.

 There was bread.  Every now and then I make Sandra Lane of Litchfield Maine's Honey Whole Wheat recipe, as an offering and smoke signal that I am in need of angelic intervention. Sandra was as crusty as crusty Mainers get but she was also an angel on Earth--that's how Maine angels tend to be-- before she died too young from heart disease. Every now and then I feel her presence, and still feel grateful for her example and friendship.

 There were piles of leaves and fun with the leaf blower.

I took Grant, William, and the school girls to the carnival at the elementary school.

The kids always look forward to the Scales and Tales exhibit. The boa constrictor was the favorite thing of the night.

Another day of leaves.

More falling action.

january mindset

A month or so ago, on a Saturday night, driving home from dropping Ben off at play practice I ran in to a little local market for a few requested items: Red Vines, chips and salsa, acne cream.  To survey the items at the check out  counter was a moment of I've-got-teenagers-running-my-life-realization...and I was okay with that..grateful to anticipate a Saturday movie night together.

So this week, alone in the girls' room, tidying up after the off to school rush I noticed a torn-out-of-a-spiral- notebook-sheet-of- paper speared on to the nail holding up the Twilight Eclipse calendar. The girls are growing up too.  Some one's New Year's resolutions were carefully listed on the paper.  Read my scriptures every day.  Exercise.  My favorite was Be nice to everyone... I hoped that included me.

New Year's day I had to come out of denial and call the heater repairman..again... It actually felt warmer outside than in.

Caitlin and I were enjoying how the snow was sparkling in the sun.

Ben was born to wear that hat.

So I've been asking myself if I've grown too old to believe in New Year's resolutions.  Maybe I'm just cynical about arbitrary dates in general, but  I do believe in change. I live hoping that Ether 12:27.."then will I make weak things become strong unto them.."  could hopefully, possibly apply to me. How about this one...my laundry has stayed in the laundry room for two or so months now, only  emerging clean and folded.  That's a positive change from the living room piles- in-waiting. Here's a peek at today's laundry status.

Critical but contained.

I've been grateful for Grandma Martha.  She took the boys and Sophie Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning while Caitlin was at preschool.  I've been trying to catch up on a variety of things...not sure which to attend to first...don't admit that to a therapist...I've been doing a lot of praying as I go throughout the day. Praying for help to accomplish what needs to be accomplished, and to put off and let go of the associated stress of what doesn't...and to recognize the blessing of each day...moment...and reminding God that I'm putting this in His hands.  Grandma Martha has been an angel on Earth this week.

Sophie's four months old now.  I took her to her well-visit. Thirteen pounds, twenty-five inches long.  Speaking of angels, she had ear infections in both ears...but who would have known?  She never complained.

Caitlin entertained Buzz and Iron man this week.

And since get-the-kids-to-watch-less-television is always a part of the January mindset, I was grateful to see Caitlin initiating her own craft time.  I love her homemade paper purses!

I found a pile of Cd's on sale at Target, without the cases.  Ben was excited to see them and set to work making a compilation of his favorite songs, mostly 80's. Since there was no case, he engineered his own, folding the paper, decorating it, and laminating it with packing tape. I love the way Ben's mind works...his ingenuity, resourcefulness, and sophisticated interested nostalgia rock.

i spy

Wednesday, January 13, a driver from Beijing t.v. came to pick us up after school. More four o'clock traffic. The kids have come along way. Ben, Kyle, Caitlin, and Bethany rode for an hour "squozen" four in row in the backseat of the minivan, without a single elbowing incident. Mary and I shared a bucket seat and played I spy for the entire ride, at Mary's insistence. Ben joined in the game.

"I spy something that starts with global and ends with warming." He said.

Mina met us when we arrived at the enormous BTV building... enormous and cold! The bottom floor has the auditorium and dressing rooms. It was our first night to practice on stage, and to really get some direction on our act. Up until now, its only been me, tyrannical stage mom, directing. How I wish I had more experience, knowledge, capability, in this situation.

Mina led our wide-eyed group through the backstage to the auditorium. I guess she was giving us a chance to soak in the atmosphere. Either that, or she thought the stage would be available and it wasn't. Here we are enjoying the Michael Jackson impersonator.. amazing dancing, though fewer gestures would be appreciated.

After Michael finished Mina and her assistant Jane asked us if we wanted to have dinner. I felt unsure how to answer because we had just arrived, and I thought we ought to do something before we took a break, but in China you have not understand a lot of things. The kids were apprehensive, because they distrust Chinese food, but we all agreed to eating. They took us on another journey through the cold halls, down an elevator, through a parking garage, up another elevator to a hallway of pleasant restaurants. We stopped in a sort of banquet room that was empty when we arrived, except for the staff and a long table of food. The room filled up quickly with BTV staffers, workmen in black parkas, and other groups of performers must be dancers, with yellow t-shirts and tight, pulled back hair-dos, as we ate.

We know that a free, surprise buffet is dreamlike to me. The kids were pleased with the food, which smelled and tasted delicious. Here's Kyle at the buffet. It's not a great picture because I was trying to be subtle. I do have some dignity.














After dinner we changed in to our costumes in the bathrooms, avoiding the perimeters of the squat pots as much as possible. Only one pair of changed-out-of-clothing emerged submerged. Here we are, most likely in the middle of discussing the stage business, (which kept changing,to the kids' frustration) looking a bit scraggly.

How will we shape this up? Prayer? Intervening angels? I know they are among us! That is why we persevere.