downs, dumplings, dinosaurs

 The first weekend in February the girls insisted on dumplings to celebrate Chinese New Year,

and bread bowls and clam chowder on Superbowl Sunday.

 Sophie's preschool class went on field trip to the BYU Paleontology museum.

 Grant tried  to be brave around the T-Rex.

commencement, consolement, chiropractory

In March, I started filling in for a massage therapist at a chiropractor's office in a little old house on Main Street. It was exactly the work environment that I had hoped for...low-key, flexible hours, interesting clients.  At first, I felt like an impostor, because it had been so long since I have worked for anyone else.  I felt self-conscious about my shaky hands, and unsure of my abilities.  But I cannot be faulted for any lack of earnestness or work ethic, so I had to build confidence from there, and pray that I could improve where needed.   By May, I had taken over most of the other therapist's hours.  There are still times when I wonder if I am doing any good. And there are other times when I feel incredibly humbled and grateful to be a part of someone else's healing.This is my walk to work..not from home, but from a nearby mall, since the chiropractor's lot is too small for my van.

 Needless to say, it has been a challenge to keep up with the kids' activities and the house..especially the house...and also recording life and the many things to be grateful for.

This was girls' night out in April, while the boys were with Granddad at the priesthood session.

Lovely, Caitlin.
The mall performance in May. We were all there from four in the afternoon until ten at night. I was busy with multiple costume changes and grateful that Grandma Martha was willing to watch the little ones at home. I know she would have loved to have seen the girls dance. Bethany is in the back.
 
 Bethany's competing dance team performed two numbers at a competition at Provo High and took first place for both. I never get tired of watching them do Funky Monkey.

We had another pet funeral.  Cocoa, the mama rabbit passed away in the spring.  We think she might have had uterine cancer, which is very common in rabbits.

The girls played "This Little Light of Mine" together. Thank goodness for bluegrass camp.

"Dear Cocoa...I love you as much as fried chicken..and other things like my mom and dad and blossoms."

I haven't mentioned much about the rabbits either. They have continued to be an after church attraction on Sunday mornings.  Olivia loves to put them out in their rabbit run in the yard for primary kids to play with on their way home from church, much to the kids' delight, and somewhat to the frustration of hungry parents.  Our little Smokey went out for an adventure, and sadly, never returned, but Wes and Hugo still manage to run about and return, though they are nearly impossible to catch.  They have fallen out of favor with me because they eat my hasta and petunias, which has prompted me to save money on annuals this year, and kept me from the IFAs, the Lindon nursery, and the garden sections of Lowes and Walmart, so I suppose I should thank them.
He looks so innocent.

So while I was working, the little kids went back to the daycare center that they attended during my massage therapy school days.  The administrators and teachers are like family to me now, and I am always grateful that they welcome the children back when needed.  I am a big proponent of socialized daycare for all incomes, like in Sweden. I loved my new job, but as the end of the school year approached I started to feel needed at home, and weary from the high cost of daycare.  I believe it was equal to what I was earning.
But this moment made it all worthwhile. The timing seemed perfect, blessed in fact.  I was grateful to be able to give the little ones a few months of preschool experience, and support Grant through his preschool graduation.  In June, I decided to ask for fewer hours at work to make time to be with the kids...and the laundry....



Kindergarten time. I'm proud of you Grant.

so many santas

Sunday evening we opened the seven or eight tubs of Christmas decorations. Some Chinese friends gave us these Santa costumes in Guangzhou, about eight years ago, but I think this is the first year the kids have discovered them before I could tuck them away. I am not sure why I had them in some kind of safe keeping. Sentimental reasons, I guess.

 Guangzhou is the world's crappy stuff market, and at Christmastime, communism takes a backseat to capitalism and a somewhat gawdy sort of Christiany. While we were there the trees frosted in disco colors and garish plastic Santas were a bit nauseating, however after the fact I've looked upon these thinly woven crimson costumes with nostalgic affection.

 But even I have a letting go point where the tangible, and fragile, can no longer keep a memory hostage, preventing it from taking life. And at some point our attachment to distant and romantic far away adventures, whether they be in deep distracted thought, or in the form of a treasured keepsake, must become less important and less compelling than the life that is right in front of us, demanding our love and attention, and needing our appreciation

 My Christmas decorations don't seem to be staying where they are put, and will probably end up broken, but at least I have a William


So in Guangzhou there is a place called HaiZhu square where we spent many afternoons browsing the hundreds of stalls. The smell was cigarettes and street food, the scent of which wafted from the carts owned by little men outside the square selling roasted sweet potatoes and fried noodles. And in one section, there was the overwhelming unmistakable acrid odor of urine, and it was essential to ex-pat life in China that it become loveable, that let you know right where to find the bathroom.

 In the fall, the square was filled with the most ghorry and horrifying take on Halloween costumes and decorations you can imagine. At Chnese New Year it was decked in red laterns and stuffed monkeys, or roosters, or tigers, depending on the year. It was always a great place to shop for take-home-to America trinkets, for birthday party favors, or for cheap toys that you only wanted to last the afternoon.  But if you winded yourself past the endless booths of  hair accesories, and office supplies, into the center of the square you would come to my favorite place, which actually had it's own door and looked like a real shop: the cookie jar vendor.  I fantasized about having a cookie jar for every season.  My mother-in-law bought me a glass ginger bread house that comes out at Chistmas, and I returned to the states with a pumpkin head scarecrow too.  I think he appeared in a post a few weeks ago...but he has since lost his head to King William, and has been sent the way of letting go.

Sunday night I was hit by a bad case of mean grumpy stressed out mom. Maybe it was too many consecutive days of eating pie, or too much Christmas clutter, or the realization that tomorrow was not a sleep in day, or just the single parent at the holidays blues.... Stated that way it would seem almost justified. I promise it had nothing to do with the broken cookie jar.

Monday was better. I am intensely grateful for warm days in late November. The little kids were too tired Monday to wake up for preschool. William had been awake most of the night with a cough and had finally fallen in to a comfortable sleep, so I let the morning stay quiet, as I finished arranging the nativity sets on the mantel, and boxed up the remaining ornaments that I hide away for that year when we have more space, more time, less need to keep things simple.

Before lunch we drove Bethany's cello to school, then went to our park to play without jackets. They thought it was a unique dynamic to drive to our park across the street and park in the parking lot. Sophie wanted to roll down the hill, which was sparkling with the melted frost... Not quite as idyllic as the weeks before when the grass was warm and dry.

 "Your turn Momma" she insisted.



 I hate pictures with my shadow in them. But I have that parental need to excessively archive perfect moments with the kids on the swings.

Tuesday morning we got a new faucet in the kitchen, and I made some progress with the laundry piles on my bed and bedroom floor. The afternoon was busy with dentist appointments, dance, sewing which turned out to be cancelled, drove to get a hair cut for Sam which we postponed when we saw the crowd, grocery shopping, shoe shopping, back for dance pick up, home for a quick dinner, and then to an appointment with Kyle. I was grateful that Judith brought us her delicious meatloaf, which made things easier.

Meanwhile our sweet friends from the ward brought us an enormous load of clothing they had outgrown.They were beautiful, designer dresses and shoes, and their mom had ironed them and put them on hangers, so they looked brand new. William claimed a little grey jacket that he insisted said Green Lantern, because there was a G and the letters were green.

There were even things for me. When I looked at the size I thought I wouldn't even be able to stick my arms in. Caitlin insisted I try on a pretty red dress that she had been wearing herself. The girls stood in undisguised disapproval as I presented myself in the dress, which fit, but greatly accentuated my need to find a personal trainer. Fertlilty Goddess Abs. The white cotton socks, and white legs were reportedly awkward as well.

"Maybe with stockings..." They said.

"So I guess I won't wear it dancing just yet," I said.

At which Caitlin brightened and said "Yes! Wear it. Noone will ask you to dance."

To which Bethany sagely added," But if they do, you'll know they really love you for you."

"How about we keep in in the closet for dieting inspiration," I said.

Everyone pledged to monitor my food intake.

Wednesday the school portait people were at the preschool.  William reported that he smiled for "his camera teacher."  The little boys wore their new shoes, and as we arrived home they dashed out of the van, and ran to front door to show me how fast their shoes can run. Sophie ran after them before I could realize that I have no baby anymore.

In the evening, hair cut for Sam, shopping with Olivia, Young Mens.  Caitlin asked me how many pounds I had lost that day.

"Zero," I reported.

  

 

 

halloween 2012

 Halloween morning I was grateful for kids that agreed we could be creative this year...code word for let's save money.  They agreed we had a treasure trove of costumes accumulated over the years...and a couple of cans of spray paint are always a good time too.

 After I got the girls off to school--with their red-hair and false eye-lashes excitement, I was grateful to be able to get the little kids ready and headed to preschool in record time so we wouldn't miss their parade...but first pictures and howling lessons-- taught by Sophie.

 I dropped Sophie and Will off at their classroom and went to the little gym to await their parade.

 Batman was a little nervous.

 Grant's class. They sang my favorite Halloween song "Wouldn't it be chilly with no skin on..."

 We had lunch with Grandma Martha at Arctic Circle. She wanted a Square Pumpkin kid's meal.  Then we went over to elementary school for the big kids' parade. I felt bad because Mary had wanted suspenders for her nerd costume, but I procrastinated and they were out at Halloween City..with no time to run to the mall, I had to create a costume at the last minute. So an hour before the parade I picked out all these eighties accessories-- sunglasses, headband with antennae, leg warmers. She could have easily hated it, but she was gracious. Sigh of relief. Thank you Mary.

I got to help out at the Halloween party in Olivia's classroom. I am not very original, so I organized small groups into games of musical chairs and told the fourth graders they could pick what "style" of Halloween creature they wanted to be as they danced around to spooky sounds that I played on my stereo too small to be heard over the excitement in the rest of the classroom.  It was a fortunate choice of words.  They chose "Gangnam style" for every round, which suddenly made it the best game ever...which it clearly would not have been otherwise.  Rescued from my lack of preparation again. Thank you.

Kyle is in there somewhere.

 Sophie, Caitlin, and their friends Grace and Lilly. Getting excited to hit the houses.

Granddad and Judith invited us to start our evening at their house for dinner--hot dogs, chips, purple grapes, and cupcakes.  Judith decorated the garage with spooky birds and lights and jack-o-lanterns.  We divided up and headed off into the neighborhood.  I love seeing our friends along the way. 

 Sophie only lasted a few houses before the  trick-or-treat process became utterly too confusing and she went home with Grandma Martha to "let's read" and fell asleep.  I was grateful that Olivia was still eager to be my companion.  She helped William and Grant walk up to each door, until about eight forty-five when we saw the big kids heading home, and Grant decided to join them.  Olivia wanted to stay out later, and William                                                                   insisted he would troop along as well, which he did.  He threatened to make me carry him, but was distracted by the beautiful, orange full moon rising over the dark silhouettes of the mountains. It was a perfect night and I thought again, really, we are growing up.

Bethany arrived home from trick-or-treating. It was her second year to go with her friend Lais.