cinema verite

Sophie's first time to drive the ice cream truck. 

I heard about managing anxiety that it's important to remember that the safest place is the present. I guess that has to makes sense, since there you are and you're surviving. I feel bad about this constant feeling of survival mode that I've had for how long I can't say. Something close to panic. I am approaching finals week at school. Waiting anxiously to be able to find a job. Not too many months away. And hoping for the feeling that life has begun again to kick in at some point. Without writing that, its hard to write about much of anything. My children have been wonderfully supportive, but I feel like I've lost this summer when I compare it to all the adventures of the last one....but as Judy Collins sang "something's lost and something's gained. in living everyday.."  Do you know that song?  It was probably Joni Mitchell who wrote it.  So I'm really trying to do my best at school, because I know what I am sacrificing.  Next summer we'll have adventures again.

Enough of that rambling.  It took me a while to get used to my cell phone camera.  So here are some random pictures of the summer that I finally figured out how to get on to my computer.

Caitlin's last day as a "preschooler" in teacher Mindy's class.

A trip to Sonic.

Opening day at Seven Peaks..it was still cold so we had the place to ourselves.

Kyle coming home from sixth grade camp.

Grant's dream come true: McDonald's on the way home from school.

Sophie and car seat.

Sophie and car seat again.

Baseball in the evenings.

June 10, opening day of Super 8, long awaited at our house.  I can't wait to see that again at the dollar theatre.

Another cute picture of Sophie.

Sophie eating pizza.

Pizza.

Some cookies.

did you ever wonder

Did you ever wonder if you could use your own cookie dough in an Easy Bake oven?  I'll admit that's the kind of thing I think about.

So after Olivia made the two Easy Bake cookies that come with the oven, she spent two hours filling the little pan with my  homemade chocolate and butterscotch oatmeal cookie dough, and sliding them through the Easy Bake oven, one by one, until she'd made ten of them.

It's kind of strange that you can cook with a light bulb.

That was Sunday.

Monday I thought the clouds were beautiful.

Tuesday I went to the elementary school at lunchtime.  Bethany's class was putting on a sale as part of their economics unit.  Bethany was selling her homemade tie dye shirts.

Wednesday Feb 2--the day that one thing fell into place...

Caitlin escorted Grant to his first day at the daycare center where she attends preschool.  Caitlin went to her regular class and then went down the hall to a new teacher after lunch.  When I picked up Grant at three-thirty he was surrounded by a small posse of boys who were calling him "Batman."
 He introduced them as his "new brothers."   William and Sophie are going to spend MWF with Grandma Martha.  So now I have to figure out how to make those hours remunerative.  I wasn't expecting to do it in that order, but sometimes life is that way.

Wednesday night Sam and Ben were really excited to go tubing at Soldier's Hollow with the church youth group.

Thursday Bethany went to school in her blue traditional Chinese dress.  For the sake of honest blogging, I'll admit that I was  more comfortable letting Chinese New year pass by this year. But I thought Bethany looked beautiful.

monday, meat loaf, movies

Sunday, January 23- Sam was back in the kitchen.  He was excited about this cooling rack that Grandma Martha gave us.  The cookies he made were from the Mrs. Field's cookbook.  They're made from honey instead of brown sugar, which gave them a different, but delicious, texture.

Looks like Sam was doing a little sampling too.  Next he made jam filled butter cookies, and then Tuna and Garlic pasta, one of our family's favorite recipes.  Sunday evening Sam insisted that I go to a fireside. Turned out to be fascinating- an anthropologist sharing his story of his conversion to the LDS faith.

So when I returned I was happy to find all was well, the kids were all together, happily watching Power Rangers the movie, which was why Caitlin and Grant have been shouting "Go Power Ranger Pink! Go Power Ranger Red!" all week.

Monday morning I found the casualty of my absense.  My camera was lying on the floor underneath the sofa, and I realized that the shutter was shattered, so when I opened and closed the lens, parts of the shutter stuck out.  I imagined the cost of buying a new camera or paying for a repair. All morning I tried to remind myself to look for how this mishap could possibly be an opening in the universe.

When I took the camera in to the shop, not surprisingly, the clerk suggested I buy a new one.  Instead I decided to rip the shutter out of camera, and was happy to find that it worked just as well.  It just looks bad. So what I thought might be an "out with the old in with the new" experience became a "use it up wear it out" experience instead...all the more empowering for being more financially appropriate, at least for this month.

One of the many ways that we have been blessed lately...

Granddad and Judith have made a tradition of bringing us dinner every Monday night.  It's always delicious, and always fun to see what they've brought.  Kyle loves Judith's meat loaf.

This was the scene Tuesday morning.  Sam had everyone up before 6:30...5:30 PST, to watch the Academy Award nominations announced.  The kids were happy to see True Grit get so many nominations, and Inception pick up a few...two of their favorite movies of the year.

The girls were up too.

Since we weren't invited to the breakfast in Hollywood, we had one of our own Tuesday night.  The kids call breakfast at night brinner.

And I was busy thinking about brinner and forgot to have the kids watch the President's speech...What a flaky mom...

Wednesday was supposed to be the beginning of the daunting task of re-enrolling the family at the dentist. I was set for my own appointment, and driving to pick up Grandma Martha,who had generously agreed to babysit, when snow flurries turned to snow fall. On the way back to our house, just before we hit the somewhat formidable hill that descends toward our street, my brakes went out, and I couldn't control the steering. I hadn't realized how slick the roads were. I pulled off to a side street to see if it was a problem with the van or just a slick spot, but every time I pumped the brakes, they would shudder and the back end fish tailed. We decided to park and unload, and the four kids and Grandma and I hiked home in the snow.

It was nasty driving but beautiful walking. I felt grateful that we hadn't tried to drive down the hill, and that the boys were so happy to be out for a winter hike. It was a great opportunity for them to try out their new Buzz Lightyear boots...one of the joys of being a three-year-old boy no doubt.

So the world is white again...even though my teeth aren't.

liquid sunshine

Editing the blog the other day, Caitlin sitting on my lap, looking at her picture on the header said, "I miss that hat."

 I miss that hat too now.  It was time for a change, but I feel a sense of loss now.

 The hat, purchased at the Great Wall some years ago, was packed in a box and shipped off to Maryland, and the picture, which is what I meant, of scowl and freckles and plastic jewels, and the "owie" on her elbow is somewhere in the hopefully retrievable memory of one of the three laptops that Grant and William destroyed this summer by excessive force, fire and water, sent off to an early death, should have bought the warranty. That kind of thing. I didn't think about that until after I'd changed the header, sent that cute picture off to cyber world. I'm getting entirely too nostalgic about this.

Another thing on Caitlin's mind, "I miss China, cause we could eat in the living room."  Anyone remember the Raines carpet?  It was a  famous disaster.  I remember when the first chocolate chip fell from a hot, gooey, cookie. Then it was over.

I feel like rambling today.  Wednesday September 22  what a collection of weathers. First a clap of thunder, then a bit of rain, looked the next minute at sunshine over the mountain.  My mom said they call it liquid sunshine in Hawaii. I thought it felt like laughter through tears.

I don't look at Geraniums without thinking of Andrew Wyeth, but the Olsens' were more nicely situated.  I should take the price tag off.

My front stairs in the rain.

Front stairs in the sunshine and fall shadows.

The park and mountains after the rain.

My flag in the wind, which kept opening the front door, felt bad locking it out.

We even had a bit of hail, driving to preschool today.

Yesterday, took Grant to the doctor. His surgery was successful, the whole mole was removed and cancer free. Grant is still enjoying his bandage.

The Fed-ex guy drove up to day. Knocked loudly. Sophie's hospital photo-shoot pictures arrived. That's something for tomorrow. 

When we lived in our little housing project in Maine I used to look out the kitchen sink window for entertainment. Who was yelling at their kids in the driveway, who was chatting by the garbage, who was getting a delivery from rent-a-center, getting soaked no doubt, a big screen television they surely couldn't afford, who was getting a Fed-ex? One day we got one, and then we were gone.